Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Sample of My Writing

The reason I feel that this book I've been writing was so good is because it actually has something to do with my own life.... I have a lot of experience with what I was writing about... and I felt I needed to convey a moral that everyone should remember... So I ONLY WROTE ABOUT THINGS I HAVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH:

This is the First Chapter, and it's a short one, I just want anyone who reads it to tell me if it did the "job", the first chapter of any book has one reason and one reason only.... TO GET THE READER INTERESTED IN THE REST OF THE BOOK.... Did this chapter do it for you?

If one's voice is not heard, has a word ever been spoken?

Chapter 1
- Beginning to an End

There was a boy who preferred to spend his time alone... his older siblings always gaining the attention and concern of his parents, and his younger, now getting it more than ever since the older ones have moved out of the house. This boy sat on the floor, isolated in his room.... he sat hunched over with his back being the highest point of his body. His left hand thumbed at his lip and his right played and pulled on bright, woolly fibers which made up the warm, sun bleached carpet..... the sun rays shone through the large window and the radiant warmth enfolded him like a comfy, warm blanket. He stared outside and imagined a beach, glistening waters and beautiful scenery. The sand was hot and bright in the mid-day sun and the palm trees cast a deep, inviting shadow that seemed to cool the sand to ice within an instant. There were people playing and laughing and having fun... and it seemed everywhere you looked there was only comfort and delight. It was a wonderful moment that only he could experience and enjoy, and no one else, and he enjoyed it for quite a while...
He forced open his eyes and the trees faded away, the warmth settled down, and he was now staring at a lonely back patio and a dirty, crumbling old brick wall... He slowly stood up, missing the beach already. He held tightly on to one of the fibers he had pulled from the carpet. Then he slowly loosened his grip, and let it slip from his fingers. On to the floor it fell, it splashed onto an ocean of carpet and it blended with everything else around it as it sunk in between the fibers. An image of a bright, glistening ocean appeared before the carpet, but the boy tried to hold back. At that instant he stopped him self from thinking about beaches and oceans and he cleared his mind. He looked up and he felt both determined and sad at the same time... this would be the last time he spent in his imagination world. It was time to grow up, it was time to move on..... and this young boy's name, was Long...

6 years later....
"why does it always seem like the memories of old... were the best we've ever had?"

The leaves scudded across the dry dirt and a crisp breeze whispered by. A single file line of ants marched across the ground carrying leaves thirty times their size, their tiny, black, shielded bodies shimmered in the bright sun, their armor was like a shining knight. A loud ring suddenly flooded the area... the fluttering of birds in the distance signaled the disappearance of the natural way of life, and within seconds, emerged hundreds of people. They hustled about... some stopping to talk... some headed straight for their next destination. Some carrying books, and some wearing storage bags across their backs... they were high school students. One such student, was quite the eye catcher, his tall stature only paralleled his slender body and unique clothing style. All the girls would take some time to feed their eyes upon his good looks as he passed by, and this young boy's name, was Long.

Long wasn't your average student, he wasn't one of those who excelled all their work towards associating with others and building seemingly lasting friendships, he was different... He looked past these trivial things, and his line of sight was straight towards the future. Not only did he profoundly hate school with a passion, he wanted to leave school as soon as possible... and never go to college... he believed he could become successful by following his dreams. He wanted to become wealthy enough, he could "ENJOY" life after school. No Work. No stress. No Problem. His goal was make so much money (before he finished high-school), so he wouldn't need to go to college. And he was determined to do so.
Now in order to accomplish this seemingly impossible task, he needed the help of others, those who shared the same beliefs as him. For some time it had been until he stumbled upon a group of people sharing similar beliefs, and this group of people would be what most called... ... "friends". And for some time they had been jokingly talking about this type of thing... much like most teenagers do about their trashed, unplanned future... eventually they had taken these "jokes" into serious consideration, and Long believed his dream could be accomplished with hard work and perseverance.

He paced steadily on a sidewalk carpeted with leaves towards an isolated, unbalanced lunch table. Many girls blushed and giggled as he passed by... of course he knew, he had gotten used to all the attention, and to tell the truth, even though Long had never been in a serious relationship... well... never mind, he was a loser when it came to girls. He dodged through a crowd of people and stepped towards a shady lunch table, which seemed isolated from most of the lunch area. He placed his bag on the concrete floor and sat down, parallel to two friends, Matthew and Andrew.

Matthew was a nice fella' who you'd easily become friends with, he was medium stature, had short, black hair and today he was wearing a red shirt (don't know, just had to mention the red shirt...). Andrew was Long's farthest friend, he had long brown hair that slipped past his eyes, and Andrew was only slightly taller than Long. Andrew sure was a quiet one, if you never said a word to him, he'd never say a word to you. Andrew always wore dark colored clothing, and sat oddly in his chair, and did odd things, and said odd things, and it was very hard for Long to come to like him. Long never knew if Andrew thought of him as a friend or not... Enough said.... (for now)

Long noisily crunched his lunch bag out of his backpack, which only added the mumble of the surrounding school crowd. His lunch consisted of an insipid bologna sandwich complemented by a bag of chips and a juice pouch... BORING!!!! Matthew had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, topped with extra peanut butter, and a lightly toasted bread, crisp and brown. Andrew, had just managed to somehow pull out a rather large, delicate chocolate cake... one could only imagine how it managed to stay in its fragile container all day without spilling its molten delight all over the innards of his back pack... it still remains a mystery.
"I have good news!" Long declared, just as another friend, Mark, showed up. "Today's the day! Luke finally got hired, and that means we can make some money!" Luke was Long's little brother, Long's annoyance, Long's follower. Luke had gotten hired at a convenience store, which he could easily handle. Everyone except Andrew, who was wolfing down the delightfully, glistening cake, and Matt, who was practically drooling on it, were listening intently.
"We've been saving up our money! When the new Mario game came out, we resisted buying it, when the year book went on 'sale' we thankfully avoided that worthless piece of sh---."
there was a soft conversation among the table, but Long impatiently continued,
"and so far, me and Luke had accumulated over $400, started from $0, in the past year... and now that Luke got the job...."
The conversation grew louder, now Matt and Andrew were BOTH eating cake, Andrew didn't have an extra plate, so he simply sliced a piece onto Matthew's palm, who was happily gorging in it... obviously not hearing a word Long had said... Mark sat there with his hand against his face, looking bored and Luke had just squeezed his chunky, unhealthy body onto a seat next to Mark... Long flashed his eyes at them,
"Listen up!!! Your acting like kids! Do you want to end up like Mark's dad? Answering phones for a living???!?!?!" (Jerk!)
There was a slight symphony of chuckles, Mark wasn't at all offended. Long spoke again,
"Then we need to work, I know if we work hard, by the end of the year---" The guys seemed to drift off into conversation again, Long's face turned red with embarrassment and impatience, "Listen---!" But there was another interruption, this time by a much louder noise... the lunch bell had rung, and it was back to class time. The commotion of the crowd grew again, and the passing hustle and bustle discouraged any more of Long's announcements. Long turned and looked around as he saw his "friends" passing by, his mouth hung slightly open as he still had much, much more to say...

...Were these the people Long had so desperately been looking for? The bombastic eyes of Andrew stared as Long march off, a feeling of empathy enshrouded him as he perched on the table seat and watched Long walk off into the soft horizon..... discouraged...

1 comment:

  1. That was a good first chapter. Many of the paragraphs were quite long though. If you want to check out my writing, go to

    I hope that it turns out to be good.